Who pays for the pre-wedding parties?

The bride's family may host the first engagement party to announce the news. The bride hosts the bridesmaid's lunch.

The groom's family may host an engagement party. The groom and/or his family may host a bachelor dinner and rehearsal dinner.

The maid of honor and/or bridesmaids host a bridal shower and may host a "girls night out." The best man and/or ushers host a bachelor party. Friends may host an engagement party.

The bride's family may host the rehearsal dinner. Out-of-towner's brunch or pool party, barbecue, etc. may be co-hosted.

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Why is it traditional to have bridesmaids and ushers?

Long ago, marriage by capture was the norm. A groom's friend helped him kidnap his mate and defended him against anyone who might try to steal the bride--including her family. The best man and ushers represent the warriors. At the altar, the groom always stood on the bride's right side, leaving his right hand--his sword hand--free to defend her.

In later years, it was customary for the bride to travel to her groom's village accompanied by escorts, her "bridesmaids," who were dressed in similar bride-like gowns to confuse rival suitors and robbers. In England, the bride was escorted to the church by boys, or "bride knights," symbolizing her innocent status; on the way home, she was escorted by married men, or "bridegroom men."